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An Open Letter to the Fear Living In Rome

It’s been a while since we’ve been together; sit down, darling Fear. Let’s snuggle up and have a nice warm cup of cocoa together.

Can I tell you a story?

Many years ago, I buried one of my daughters. Well, buried is a complicated term. I watched the life leave her physical body. I held her presence in my arms. And I said goodbye.

Such is the life of a Mother.

I know you know this story, my friend – for you were there with me. We stood together, you and I, as we heard the news about how this beautiful soul was going to die. We stood together as we made decisions about how we were going to handle it. We stood together and felt impotent, hopeless, helpless, and just…wrong.

And of course…you taught me so much in this time. As you always do.

I learned, my darling, that we are all running towards death. I learned that life is a miracle, a gift. I learned, actually, that everything is a gift – even you, old friend. I learned that each breath, each moment together, each beautiful rainstorm is a totally undeserved gift of love. I learned that, when it rains, the best thing to do is grab a friend and go out and soak it up, together, with fun.

I learned that laughter works miracles. And…

I learned that Mothers give birth all the time.

Isn’t that crazy? Mothers give birth. All the time. And we have this amazing POWER of choice – who knew? We get to choose, in each second, whether we’re giving birth to love, or to anger. To faith, or to fear. To hilarity, or to sadness. And there’s no judgement on any of those emotions, because – they ALL teach us something. It’s just up to the Mama to choose which one is needed in that moment – and then to allow it to come forth.

So funny…we’re constantly talking about pro-life and pro-choice in America, when they’re both happening to all of us, all of the time.

We Mamas know this. It took me a long, long time – and many amazing friends – to learn this. Thank you, by the way, my loves. I cannot tell you how much your friendship and faith has always meant to me. You are the guiding lights in this world, even when you might not see it.

And back to you, my cocoa-sipping Fear friend here with me in Rome.

You also taught me another lesson (of course). This one stuck.

You taught me the lesson that when I make decisions based on fear, I regret them. Being a very pragmatic person (my favorite philosophers are the pragmatics), I decided that this lesson was helpful in guiding me. So. So. So helpful.

Thank you for always being such a good teacher.

And you know what else I have learned? I have learned that I have NO IDEA what is motivating other people. I mean. Zero percent. Because you know…I’m not inside of them. I’m just inside of me.

And so…well shoot, that means I get to decide what’s motivating them.

Ohhhhhh…well then. I choose love. Of course!

I see the people in Italy in LOVE with life. I see the souls around me full of care and compassion for their children. I see each of us in Rome expressing, in so many different, varied ways, just how much we love our lives, our neighbors, and our world. It’s an incredible, overwhelming tidal wave of pink pink love. Good grief – who knew?

It is glorious to be amongst you all. Thank you. I am immensely grateful.

Oh dear, my cocoa-friend. I see you leaving and walking out the door, and I didn’t have time to say goodbye. Take care of yourself, darling. We are going to need you in the times to come. You are such a good teacher. Thank you, once again, for the lessons.

And to all of us here in Rome…thank you, my loves, for the wrapping of love. It is beautiful to see your love for this wonderful Mother Earth that we get to call home. This love for humanity that is pouring forth, especially right now in Italy, is amazing. I am so blessed to be living right now with you glorious, shining beacons of love.

You might even call it….well, perhaps, Mother love.

Interesting, that. We Mamas are especially good at giving birth to love.

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An Open Letter to the Fear Living In Rome

by Team Aina time to read: 3 min
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